AMIYA: When a Sun Begins to Shine Within You, You Feel Alive

 27 02 2016 18:32:13 Jurgita Kotryna Ogulevičiūtė |


Photo by Edvard Blaževič,

“I blaze like this not only in this project, I do everything this way. This was how I wrote my book, this is how I deliver training sessions. When the two lines merge (so that the world, the whole, felt good as well as I could grow), such a combination equals to the state of happiness, ”a composer, performer, and producer Andrė Pabarčiūtė-Amiya spoke about her inner transformation and miracles that have brought her to the new project “The Goddess”. “I do not expect people to come to my event and be transformed, enlightened, and reborn. If Dalai Lama cannot achieve it, how could I do it? I am willing to create an event, an impression, an experience that would turn into a flame within a person, which lights up and perhaps inspires to take new decisions of a different kind.”

Widespread dullness defeated by the feast of everyday

How can we bring miracles into our daily lives? When it is dull both outside and in your heart, when there’s so little light, when you sit at home with children or come back home after a day at work, and you feel exhausted, you might think miracles only happen to others, not you?

The fundamental answer I have discovered for myself is that I have to start to develop and grow in my own personal life. I have noticed that among us development is associated with career and work, people focus their attention on it. Whereas in their personal lives, in the family, with their friends and relatives, people only have a rest after work.

When we place all our hopes and ideas into our work, we lead ourselves into a passive inner state. In that state, it does not matter what the weather outside is, if it is sunny or, which is more often the case here, it is not, we feel a lack of energy, life, colours, tastes, and creative ideas. We lack creative spark. Which is the source of all the miracles, new realizations and insights that help one move along their own path.

I see the reason to this. We disregard the quality of our personal lives. I. e., how to grow and learn to experience love, joy, sense of community, intimacy in our personal lives, how to enjoy it every day. When this is missing, which is particularly important to women, all the other areas become dull and the dullness spreads everywhere. And if the weather is grey too, you develop an inner state in which you don’t want anything at all.

You are a creator, perhaps daily chores do not suppress you, so you can fly around with the Muses in your daily routine too?

“I am not only a creator, I also work as a producer and event organizer, I do the tough functional job. I do the same in the new project,” the initiator and implementer of an experiential show “The Goddess”, which is to take place in the beginning of March in Riga and Vilnius, sais.

However, the Muse-like inner state of mine does not come as a result of me having more free-time or fewer daily worries. I have a large home space, which I constantly keep tidy, I cook food but the main thing is to preserve your connection with yourself no matter what you do.

In our culture, there is no practice of how to start to hear yourself: your wishes and desires, what is natural to you, what reveals you, i. e. how to return to the causal level. Weariness, exhaustion, confusion, depressiveness, disappointment in everything are already the consequences of you having lived with a missing connection with your inner self.

When a person reaches such a level of consequences and gets lost among external stimuli, he observes the surrounding environment: other people, television but not himself. Following external guidance, a person gets lost. He feels he is living an unnatural life, which leads to exhaustion. And then the way back to oneself is a very long one.

Once, I was lost too but I started looking for the way back at a very early stage. My quests included creating too. Had I followed what the environment was saying, I would be facing a painful fact that artists cannot create in Lithuania.

I could have said this was Lithuania, nobody wanted high quality pieces of art here at that point in time, so I would not produce them (A. Pabarčiūtė-Amiya graduated from a Piano class at the Lithuanian Academy of Music and Theatre – editor’s remark); however, I decided to choose what to create on my own rather than listening to conditions imposed from the outside.

This was when an absolutely different journey began. I took part in a number of projects that had no financial support. I used to earn money elsewhere in order to be able to create. When you are walking down the path that stems from within you, you might not be successful (rich and well known) but you will find your own audience and people who will help you. This happened to me.

Listening to myself, I worked on the project “The Goddess”, which would touch people via their hearts, via positivity, and colourfulness which is lacking so much not only in Lithuania but also worldwide. I got an idea to create a contemporary version of Enigma.

Then, all the miracles began. My book “The Genius of a Woman” came out. It became incredibly popular, so I managed to save some money and fly to Los Angeles to Jens Gad (Enigma’s producer – editor’s remark). I met the right people, a team, which works with this project of the heart, was formed. It is based not on money but rather on people’s blazing hearts, their inner flames. It lights up from mine like a torch in other people.

This is how I live. I blaze like this not only in this project, I do everything this way. This was how I wrote my book, this is how I deliver training sessions. When the two lines merge (so that the world, the whole, felt good as well as I could grow), such a combination equals to the state of happiness. It spreads further to personal life and family.

“When we suffer great pain, it is important not to shut down but rather to open up.”

There is a very strong rational aspect present in our lives, we have to follow logics and “justify” everything with our minds. You refer to your show as an experiential one, meaning you focus on sensations. Do you employ movement, sounds, smells, and colours to show the way to begin to feel oneself and thus to return to oneself?

Precisely so. I directed a story of human transformation in the concert. It tells of inner states that are written deep down within a person because of the times he felt very happy. This is why they are called special, total inner states. A person believes they occur once or twice in life. He fails to understand it is possible to constantly live like this, and this is only a “demo version”! Once you have experienced it, it means your body, your heart, and your whole self can potentially remain in such a state.

This is the inner state of happiness a person looks for his entire life. He thinks that if he has something, if he achieves something, if he is a perfect lover, happiness will come. Whereas all you have to do is learn quality relaxation, learn to feel, to accept one’s fears, pain, tension, to open up to the world emotionally. It is possible to learn to live in such a state of happiness and love, and you don’t have to become a hermit in the mountains to do it.

During this show, I intend to take a person through various experiences that he or she has had but has forgotten about them. To provide a reminder of these experiences via aroma therapy, colourful costumes, and amazing dance. In order for the viewer to receive true food for their hearts and souls.

You have chosen very powerful “irritants”: impressive, vivid costumes of clear forms and colours, expressive dance moves, aroma therapeutic smells that have powerful effect on a person’s state and bring up memories. Will it not be the case that once the show is over, a person will feel like a Cinderella: the feast is over and you turn from a princess back into a downtrodden orphan, fall from the light up above back to the grey down below? In which case the sense of it being a one-time feeling will only grow stronger, it will be difficult to believe you can experience it again and again.

I do not expect people to come to my event and be transformed, enlightened, and reborn. If Dalai Lama cannot achieve it, how could I do it? I am willing to create an event, an impression, an experience that would turn into a flame within a person, which lights up and perhaps inspires to take new decisions of different kind.

Of course, no external stimuli can bring you back within you but they can remind you of yourself. It is not candles, music, or essential oils that are happiness. You are happiness. Just as you can see in the film “Life is beautiful”: even under such tough circumstances a person can be happy because he assigns meaning in his heart to the moments he goes through.

I started with that. I learned to shift my focus from the outside to the inside, to listen not to my thoughts but rather to ask myself every day and to double-check in every situation, whether my heart was opening up or closing down. This is the only way a heart lights up. When a sun that is missing outside lights up within you, you begin to feel alive, you are overwhelmed by joy. When you begin to feel your heart, you will inevitably start to feel other people, and empathy develops.

Are there many of us walking around with our hearts closed?

This is what I feel. Even if people are emotional, they still live “in their heads”, in their mind templates, which they use in making decisions. Their hearts do occasionally fall in love and then they calm down. Whereas to me every day is a feast. I don’t even know what to do to celebrate St. Valentine’s Day because I tell my beloved I love him billions of times every day. Billions of times I approach and gently touch him to show my feelings. Billions of times I embrace him and give a little present. And so does he.

I feel I am born again every day because I am myself, and I hear myself. The heart is alive when you live with it every day, and you act referring to it. Love is an inner action, a choice you make every day. Love is the absence of limits and emotional distance with the other person. This is the result of one’s work with himself or herself. When you discover where your traumas, pain and mistrust in others come from, you calm down and relax. Then, you take a step to live from your heart rather than your mind, to open up to another person and the world in general.

This always brings pain. Love without pain is impossible. As your heart expands, you begin to feel other people’s pain too, which gives rise to compassion. You do not have to be enlightened for it to happen in your heart. Everybody knows that we acquire love through pain, not through comfort. But only a few have heard of the following alchemy: when we suffer great pain, it is important not to close down but rather to open up.

Some people, having experienced catastrophes, or lost their dear ones, gradually lock their hearts and themselves in a little black box, isolate themselves from everyone else, fall into a trauma and thus perish. And there are others who, after tragedies and traumas, even though they too feel pain, do something alchemical in their hearts. Then they as if grow, become purer, calmer, more compassionate, with less ambition and egoism. Our hearts are capable of this not only in the face of catastrophes but also every day.

Why do you find it so important to emphasize a woman’s transformation into a goddess in the show “The Goddess” and in general?

This is the way I see human potential. The stories of all goddesses and gods are about what women and men are, these are real things, not mythological descriptions. I want to show women through the show that they can live in the inner state of love, or a goddess, despite of the circumstances.

At the beginning I learned from women who were fifty or sixty years old but they were younger than me. If a woman can be absolutely lively despite of her age, she never grows old. When the energy of life flows in all directions, this is also a manifestation of a goddess.

Another phenomenon that I described in my book and present in the show is that a woman’s intuition is much more than just a tiny voice telling you whether to turn left or right. It is not a GPS but an ability to reason in this manner.

All I want is to remind a person that you who have come and are now listening to the music and watching the show, you contain this potential, you just have to want and move towards it, and to uncover it. Then, life will definitely be colourful, interesting, and incredible.

It happened to me not because I am exceptional or an enlightened spiritual person. I am a person who was intensively looking for friendship with herself within herself and developed in all fields. When I feel a woman who suffers and lacks love, I feel sorry for her because I understand that she is love. She can live in an abundance but she just does not know it. They don’t show it in TV series, there they speak about lack of love. Books also write that love is insufficient.

The show is a visual inspiring narrative about a woman’s transformation into a goddess. Aren’t you afraid that the message will remain an image only, without driving any inner change?

The event is simply a form of art, which takes up a new dimension here, namely, the experiences. I have brought together a group of dancers and musicians who all practice self-listening but each in their own way. They are happy in their personal lives. The viewer will not see it but feel it.

All the performers will share their emotions and feelings that will touch people from within. Aromas, colours, sounds touch them too. Not only the music, the visual form, beautiful unseen exotic costumes and accessories, designed by an incredibly creative Sequoia Emmanuelle and her team, can speak and remind us of it.

The image is less affective but it is also aimed at helping the eyes, even the mind, to remember that perhaps I too am a goddess. This show is a tale, an inspiration that helps to experience something amazing. If we did not show anything on the outside, it would be a lecture rather than an artistic event. Other formats are aimed at those willing to practice inner matters: training sessions, seminars, practices. And whether people will develop further afterwards is their own free choice, – A. Pabarčiūtė-Amiya said.

Tickets to the live show “THE GODDESS” 05.03.16  in Riga, LV:

Tickets to the live show “THE GODDESS” 09.03.16  in Vilnius, LT:





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